Self doubt

Now that i'm in my late 30s, i'm supposed to be wiser, have a strong self esteem and have a high self confident, right? *sigh*

Have u ever feel that, there's certain morning, at the very moment u wake up, u firmly believe that u can take over the world? U're feeling great abt urself, u face everyone with a stride, head helds up. U completed ur paperworks, answering all emails and finished the slides. U greet everyone u met, and love all the attentions that u got. And at the end of the day, u'll tell urself, 'wow! I'm good!'

And there's certain time, u just wanna caved into ur blankie and sleep bcoz u're feeling down. U're worried and keep thinking abt what people might think & talk about u behind ur back. You colleagues might not actually like you that very much. Maybe u hurt other ppl's feeling, maybe u stepped on shoes. There's stale paperworks on ur table, those papers that got stuck in a tangled web of process u don't know how to proceed. U dread everything about ur work, and u just glad that finally u're laying comfortably in ur bed, praying for things to get better.

There's a time that u love what u're doing, but there's also time u're wondering what have u done all these years? Is this what u really wanted to be? Why u're having all this self-doubt?